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Health plan

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Health plan

Berichtdoor Blastmaster1972 op 25 maart 2010, 10:42

His practice has no room for new patients! Now, he's a medical wizard!

I love this Doctor


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Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.



Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!



Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!



Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?



Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!



Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.



AND.....



For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:



1. The Japanese eat very little fat

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



3. The Chinese drink very little red wine

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



CONCLUSION.....



Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
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Blastmaster1972
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Re: Health plan

Berichtdoor Brakkie op 25 maart 2010, 13:34

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! :lol:


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. :lol: I guess I'll die an early death then... Since I speak english half the time... :roll: So half-chance of dying at a young age. :lol:
Laatst bijgewerkt door Brakkie op 25 maart 2010, 15:21, in totaal 1 keer bewerkt.
"I never understood the majority rule. If I asked someone why the majority should decide, I never got a satisfying answer. I still do not think that if a majority of people say something or agree on an opinion about something, that this should be the starting-point to decide if something is true or if something should be done." - Louk Hulsman
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Re: Health plan

Berichtdoor Blastmaster1972 op 25 maart 2010, 14:38

Brakkie schreef:Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! :lol:


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. :lol: Ik neem aan dat ik op vroege leeftijd dan een hartaanval zal krijgen omdat ik ongeveer de helft van de tijd engels spreek... :lol:


Yes, but here you have to use English, it's the international part of the forum! :!:

Kind regards,

Jos
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Re: Health plan

Berichtdoor Eygen op 25 maart 2010, 14:46

Blastmaster1972 schreef:
Brakkie schreef:Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! :lol:


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. :lol: Ik neem aan dat ik op vroege leeftijd dan een hartaanval zal krijgen omdat ik ongeveer de helft van de tijd engels spreek... :lol:


Yes, but here you have to use English, it's the international part of the forum! :!:

Kind regards,

Jos


Have I got some bad news for you mate... :mrgreen:

Funny stuff Jos :lol:
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Re: Health plan

Berichtdoor LX_Emergency op 26 maart 2010, 09:59

Blastmaster1972 schreef:



Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

My favorite,
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Re: Health plan

Berichtdoor Yos op 26 maart 2010, 14:02

wow, what a relief, i'm gonna get myself a big juicy hamburger in the evening :D and i'm gonna order it in Dutch :lol:.

nice post, blastmaster
cheers,
Jos

"It is always better to underestimate and be pleasantly surprised by doing better" - John Wiseman

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